I get the opportunity to say I’m clean and sober because I’m learning to no longer flex the muscle that is manipulation. I’m learning to hold myself accountable which is no easy task. I look back and see that my ego may have lost all battles to my disease, but my highest self is winning the war.

For most of my addiction I spent most of the time trying to figure out a way to convince the people in my life that I was going to get clean and get my life together. I would do this just long enough to regain their trust and support while having every intention to find a better way to control them.

Now that I’m sober and trying to become a better person in all areas of my life, I’m starting to become aware of my super unhealthy manipulation tactics.