Fading My Selfish Ways

Manipulation has always played a big role in my day to day life. I found out at a very young age that I could easily manipulate my mom and my family to agree with me, or at least see things from my perspective. My dad also taught me at a young age that having a broad vocabulary and being able to speak eloquently is a very powerful and necessary tool in life and can take you very far. As I grew up, I mastered the ability to manipulate. I started manipulating friends and those at school. I could pick up on body language cues, and on people’s energies and moods, and would use that to my advantage. Now that I’m sober and trying to become a better person in all areas of my life, I’m starting to become aware of my super unhealthy manipulation tactics.  Sometimes I’m not even conscience of how I’m using people or preying on them for my selfish benefit. It has almost become second nature to me. I must remain aware of how selfish my motives can be. I’m working towards being able to use my manipulation skills in a positive way. I want to help people get sober by pushing them to be the best version of themselves. I do not want to be somebody who is constantly selfish and self-centered. I think if I try to put myself in a position of constant service to others, my self-seeking ways will eventually begin to fade.