We’ve all heard the phrase, “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed”, but what feeling is disappointment mainly comprised of? And under what conditions are the seeds of disappointment sewn? When I try to make sense of disappointment and boil away the irrational secondary emotions, I find that the underlying emotion is sadness.

When I started using drugs, I became reckless. I would lie, yell, and steal; even overdose in my home and in front for the neighbors . This was a disappointment to my family, and even a bigger embarrassment to me. As word got out, my friends whom I grew up with didn’t want anything to do with me.

I let my pride and addiction take away the best parts of myself. This being my biggest disappointment. But not all hope is lost. Recently, I’ve had to swallow my pride and ask for help, and for this I’m proud.