Growth After Relapse

After yet another relapse and return to treatment, I’m starting to ask myself what I could do differently this time around. In order to live a life worth living, I need to explore what’s holding me back and preventing me from fulfilling my purpose. I’m working on finding meaning in my life that will help me battle and overcome my addiction. I work with Salina Shuler because she challenges me to grow. She helps to clarify this road to recovery I’m traversing. Yes, I need a sponsor, to work the steps and to do all the typical workings that help fellow addicts get and stay sober but Salina digs deeper. She’s helping me to address and face the grief and mourning of my brother and to find where I went wrong so many times before. She recommended a book that’s been helping me through the difficult times as of late that stresses the importance of having meaning in one’s own life. I can’t let other distractions like women or pride get in the way of my purpose. I can’t dwell on the How of things and How I’m going to fulfill my purpose but rather I need to focus on the Why. Why do I want a life worth living? Why should I keep pushing forward? Why am I worth the suffering I’ve endured? What would my brother want my life to look like? These are questions I’ve been asking myself lately that are giving me the motivation to persevere and to overcome this war with myself. And that’s why I’m forever grateful for Salina and all her help.