Relapse Prevention

It’s funny, before I ever came to treatment the word “relapse” was not part of my vocabulary. It’s now something I think about on a daily basis. “ Will this decision lead me to relapse?” “How will I relapse?” “Will hanging around this person cause me to relapse?” Even during my most recent relapse, all I thought about was “I’m relapsing” every time I drank or used. My friend Nick told me “Once you get into AA/NA it takes the fun out of drinking and using”, and he was completely right. Meaning once you start working a program you can’t have that guilt-free enjoyment of drinking and using because all you can think about while doing so is all the harm you are causing yourself and your loved ones. As a major addict/alcoholic this needed to happen for me because it has taken a lot of power out of the delusion that I can get the relief and enjoyment out of drinking and using that I once did. This, combined with working a good program, having a strong fellowship, and rigorous honesty is the best way to avoid relapsing, especially the fellowship and honesty. It took me a while to see how helpful it is having a close-knit group of people that I can tell anything to. I know they won’t judge me, and I can go to any of them with anything and they will be there to help. These people in my life only want to support me and see me succeed. Having that kind of support is huge for my continued recovery. Cracking down and really getting honest this time at South Orange County Detox and Treatment has been more beneficial than I could have ever imagined. I feel that because of my honesty I have seen more growth in myself during my last 2-months in treatment than I did during the 14-months time before I relapsed. When I think of relapse prevention these are the things that come to mind and these are the things that I’m practicing to keep myself from going back down that dark road.