Codependency in Relationships

Codependency is such a commonly used term that sometimes we might forget to ponder its true meaning and effects. If you ask the average individual what codependency means, they might say something like, “it’s an unhealthy and destructive intermeshing of two people”.

To make this more relatable, I’m going to explore what it means to me and how it’s affected my life.

To me, codependency is a symptom of an identity crisis. It’s a reliance upon someone else for emotional health, self-worth, and values. It’s a dependence upon someone else to feel comforted and loved. Ultimately, it’s an attempt to fill a void that should be filled with purpose, self-esteem, worthiness, and dignity. Qualities that have been stripped from us over a period of time.

So how has codependency affected me and my life?

My upbringing and experiences conditioned me to always be at an arm’s length, emotionally from everyone. But when I do finally allow myself to become more intimate with others, I tend to rely upon those people for my self-worth and self-esteem. I sometimes have trouble setting boundaries, saying “no” to certain behaviors and actions, or just speaking my mind in a rational way. This tends to be too uncomfortable to bear at times which can stress me out and cause anxiousness. Being here at South Orange County Detox and Treatment has allowed me to take a closer look at the relationships in my life where codependency might be a factor and hinderance.