2020- A Love Hate Relationship

I really do have a love/hate relationship with 2020. The year started off sort of promising for me. I had every intention of making the year a tipping point for my life. I was using on and off, knowing in my head I needed a program to begin the healing process, but still so hesitant to take the next step. Then COVID-19 hit, and I used it as an excuse to go downhill fast. I used greater amounts and was even more isolated from the real world than before. I slipped into a dark depression while attempting to portray myself as someone who had it all together. I wasn’t fooling anyone. This year was full of chaos and destruction. On June 24, 2020, I finally had enough. I was at my end, desperate and out of gas. I checked into South Orange County Detox and Treatment and began turning my life around. I have learned more about myself this past year than in the past 30 years of my life on this planet. If I can make it out of my addiction in one of the hardest, most testing years in history, then I can keep my sobriety through anything. I’m more focused than I’ve ever been to change my life and make something of it. This year is only the starting point. I encourage everyone to keep their heads up. Use this year as a learning experience in the same way that I have. Improve your connection with God, family, and friends. I know a lot of people who have relapsed because of COVID-19, and I honestly don’t blame them. It is not about how hard you fall, but how quickly you pick yourself up.  What better time to pick yourself up then now? Use this year of pain and destruction as fuel to turn your life back around so that you are able to be there for your family and friends in a time when they need you the most. Let’s make it through these tough times together. This is why I have a strong love and hate relationship with 2020 but I’m focusing on positives while I’m learning from my mistakes. I’m improving and strengthening all of my relationships with dedication and determination. These are some of the reasons I’ve grown throughout 2020 and will continue to grow even more throughout 2021.