I have used distorted thinking throughout my life in various ways. As a child, I had to use distortions to survive. In addiction I used distortions to maintain my disease. As an adult, I have let distorted thoughts skew my reality and today my intention is to become more aware of those thoughts so that I can see things as they truly are.

When I was young, I saw both my parents casually use drugs and alcohol. My dad showed me how to make a pipe when I was five years old. Up until recently, my idea of “normal” was extremely distorted. I didn’t know any better. This cognitive distortion helped me live in ignorant bliss. It also helped create huge emotional blind spots going into adulthood. Both my parents can be extremely controlling, omitting and manipulative.

As an adult, I chose a partner with those same traits because I was unaware of those emotional blind spots. I quickly started using drugs and alcohol to numb my depression, a depression that came because I wasn’t seeing things as they really were.

As a sober woman in recovery, I now see things as they truly are.

It is hard to look at the life you have made for yourself and realize it is inherently flawed. I’m grateful that I finally get to see things clearly. My life is still pretty messy, but I get the opportunity to live it without any distortions. Few people get a second chance, and I plan on giving this one my best shot.

“As a sober woman in recovery, I now see things as they truly are”.