Resentments- Word of the Week

I have struggled with addressing my anger.  I find myself either being passive aggressive, suppressing my frustrations, or exploding and displacing my anger on others who don’t deserve it. The only way I have ever coped with my anger and resentments is by using drugs to escape whatever pain or frustrations I am feeling in the moment. Even after being clean for over a year, dealing with my anger is still difficult for me. I think that sometimes I use my anger as a way to disconnect from others, keeping them at arm’s length away. It makes it easier for me to bail out when things become difficult or uncomfortable. In regard to resentment, I think that if I’m able to start addressing my anger as it arises, I will be able to avoid many of my resentments that build over time. In my addiction, I used my resentments as an excuse to get loaded. I placed blame on others for my circumstances. I find myself at times showing this behavior, even in recovery. I honestly want to let go of my resentments, but don’t know how to at times. There are times I feel free, and others when they resurface. Sometimes I feel stuck in this continuous cycle. I need to work on letting go of the things I expect others to do for me and remind myself to accept the things I am powerless over while living in gratitude for the things I have in the moment. I must continue to push myself to grow and change into a better version of myself than I was yesterday.