Toxic Relationships In Addiction

Codependency has played a role in many areas of my life. My family, friends, and relationships have all been affected by it. Codependency is defined as excessive psychological or emotional reliance on a partner. One of the biggest examples in my life of codependency in was a past relationship (if you can even call it that) that ended shortly before coming to treatment. Hands down it was the most toxic relationship I have ever been in. I knew she had strong feelings for me, and she knew I had a drug addiction. I played into her fantasy that one day we could be something more and tried to keep her happy emotionally, in-turn she helped support my drug habit and gave me a place to live. Psychologically, I made myself believe I needed to stay with her and keep her happy to support my drug habit even though I was miserable being with her. For her, it was purely an emotional codependency because her happiness was solely reliant on being with me and on our relationship. Needless to say, I’m not at all proud of my actions and behaviors with her during those times. When this was going on, I justified it in my head as I was just using her for drugs, and I didn’t seem the harm in that.  But now that I’m clear-headed and a little more informed about codependency, I can see how our codependent behaviors drove us both further into that toxic relationship and the harm it caused.