As addicts we all like to be in control at all times. Right now, my need to be in control is higher than ever before. Out of the last 18 months, 14 of them were spent in treatment and I worked extremely hard to rebuild and regain what I had lost. I had worked my way up to a sturdy, well-paying job. I had a car again. I had my own place again and a healthy relationship with a beautiful girl and had regained the trust of my family. All it took was being away from treatment for 4-months and not working a recovery program to lose most of the things I had worked so hard to obtain. I stripped myself of the privileges and freedom I had fought so hard for. It has been overwhelmingly difficult for me to release what little control I had left when I came back into treatment. The one thing that is giving me any hope at all is that I have been here before and I have seen and experienced firsthand all the amazing things that have happened for me when I give up control and live in God’s will one day at a time. Everything worked out better than I ever could have imagined last time and I know the same outcome is possible this time if I just take the necessary steps and let God lead the way.