Being an addict has definitely altered my perspective and has distorted how I perceive reality. Even in recovery, sometimes my view on what is happening is skewed by taking things personally or not taking things personally enough. My negativity can definitely create distortions that prevent me from creating meaningful relationships. Instead of seeing things as they really are, my distortions tell me that there is always some sort of hidden agenda or that if I open up and allow myself to be seen by others, I am putting myself in a vulnerable position to be hurt. My distorted thoughts have kept me from seeing the truth, and I don’t want these fear-based thoughts to prevent me from getting closer to others. It is easy to get lost in this rabbit hole of fear, shame, guilt, unworthiness, and distrust, however, I am improving at recognizing when I am allowing these distortions to affect the clarity of what really is, and don’t want to allow these thoughts to prevent me from having connections that I would otherwise miss out on.