Running with Trust

In emotional sobriety trust is a key factor. Having trust in someone or something is filled with uncertainty and takes away from the sense of control that is fabricated in our minds. The lack of trust serves as a defense mechanism to avoid failing or being hurt. I often did not trust in my abilities with running; I had doubt and did not want to believe what my coaches thought I was capable of achieving due to my fear of not meeting expectations. Whether I ran well in practice or has a good race it was still not enough to trust my abilities. I was filled with self-doubt which effected the way I ran. I ran scared and afraid to go fast. I was intimidated at every race I went to because I believed that everyone else was better and that I did not belong. I set myself up to fail by putting little effort into my training so I did not disappoint myself when I fell short of my goals. Eventually for one of my races I became so disassociated with the thought of competition I started to have fun and disregarded the competition and time. By having fun and not caring about the clock I was able to meet the goal times that were envisioned. I was capable but the lack of trust I had within myself would not show my true potential. After this race I began to trust myself more and did not let fear intervene with my goals. I also learned to embrace failure and to use it as a learning opportunity for improvement. Once I began to let go of the desire and stubbornness to control I was able to grow and unleash my talents freely without fear. Learning to trust myself has also allowed me to have more trust in others. Trusting the advice from others, without being fearful, has led me to grow and has given me new insight to matters that I would have not learned unless I trusted the guidance of others.