Constructive Criticism
Criticism- Word of the Week
Being open minded to criticism has always been a difficult concept for me to accept. Stubborn in my ways, I often found myself not willing to learn from the advice given to me by others, especially when I felt I was right. I always felt that it was the father’s role to instill in their child the appropriate behaviors and ways of doing things. Because the majority of my childhood lacked guidance, I developed a sense of untrustworthiness and vulnerability in regards to what others thought was best for me. I felt that having to accept criticism was a sign of weakness. Still to this day, when others seek to give me criticism, I revert back to my ten- year old self. I find myself continuously reliving my childhood wounds. My stubbornness in terms of criticism shadows my true feeling of fear. Through self-discovery over the years, I have learned that I truly crave and yearn for criticism and guidance more than anything. That being able to accept constructive criticism is a personal form of growth. I have trouble expressing my desire for it though because of emotional stage it puts me in. Emotionally, mentally, and physically lost and not feeling good enough. Because of this, anytime I am given criticism I tend to take things extremely personally. I tend to believe any remark or advice given is a degrading judgement or personal attack against me. Thus being said, I created unhealthy, codependent relationships that created a false sense of guidance without being directly criticized. I have always had leadership qualities but never asserted myself to lead. I have always felt comfortable and the need for somebody to show me the way. The irony is that I am often unwilling to listen to them. The hardest thing about living a life in recovery for myself is being able to understand and accept that my way of thinking is what led to such a destructive path of behavior. I still find it extremely difficult to put my faith in others. I still find it difficult to believe that somebody’s criticism can be given solely for me to better myself. Eventually, if you are fortunate enough to have been blessed with the gift of desperation, your own words will lose all meaning and you will be forced to listen to what somebody else has to say. As Winston Churchill once said,
“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”