Harboring Resentments

Differentiating anger and resentment is a difficult topic for me to write about. For me, anger is an immediate feeling that I get when disagreeing with something that somebody has said or done. When someone insults me or calls me out, my initial response is anger. Anger comes on quickly, but can also leave just as quickly if it’s resolved in a healthy manner. Resentments, on the other hand, build and grow over time when anger isn’t resolved or addressed. We addicts often hold onto resentments. I once heard that harboring resentments is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. In A.A. they say resentments are the number one offender, meaning they are the leading cause of use or relapse among addicts and alcoholics. I think that feeling anger is ok, for we are all human. I’m now becoming aware of the things that bother me and am learning to be direct with others in expressing my feelings so that I am no longer harming myself by holding onto my resentments.